Mild Irritation

Mild Irritation
I hope there haven't been any more of those dirty below-the-belt lies about me. It's the only way these responsible citizens know how to fight. Even though my bachelorhood is largely due to their offences against my image, they still want to shame me for it. I wouldn't interfere with their basic human needs like that. I would just move them all to Baffin Island. They might as well procreate if it's all they know how to do. Maybe they'll roll lucky with their DNA and have a good child - far away from me. I'm more humane than they are. I'm more responsible, too. I've faced some very bitter truths around the crimes and punishments of stars for their offences with my work. After all, they stuck their frantic fraud party in my face for years and years. Since it was my work and my life around which all of the broadcasting crimes are focussed, it would be easier for others to face the bitter facts in this case, but they can't seem to live up to this responsibility, not even for a second. I think such behaviour sets a poor example for their children.

I just wanted to talk a little more about how the hosts on TV all went crazy after I posted those dialogues of mine in 2007, using the format of a talk show. It was wildly successful, wasn't it? And it apparently upset the hosts on TV, who must have mistook it as some sort of transgression. How did this happen? I was dreaming up the whole thing, including the guests. I just wanted to horse around with some dialogues and play at inventing cartoon characters. How did they confuse what I was doing with what they were doing? I write songs and draw cartoons. How did my imaginary talk show become such a bane for them? It can only be because they thought it somehow made them look bad. And how did it do that? By being funny? It's a comedy script, not a real show. Why did these hosts of real shows suddenly all think they needed to be hilarious? Is that what they thought they were hired for?

Let's look back at one of their predecessors, Johnny Carson. Would you call him the funniest man in the world? On the contrary, his low-key mediocrity was his trademark. It let his guests shine as the stars of his show, night after night, and perhaps prevented his own personality from wearing on his viewers over the long term. For this reason, I think Jay Leno was favoured more for his limitations than his potential when he was chosen to succeed Carson. It seemed to worked well for a long time. He stayed in the background on his show and let his guests shine. Then I posted my imaginary talk show and he suddenly needed to be the funniest man in the world with my material. Quite naturally, he needed the world to tell me to fuck off as he did it. Why couldn't he have just stayed mediocre and been thankful for all the stellar success he got from it?

On the other hand, the network's choice of a lesbian woman as a daytime host may have been an attempt to further the gains made by a predecessor who was a black woman. This is how they think, not how I think. I take people as individuals, but they see us all as categories. And they play this silly game of trying to reach a crowd of one category with a person from another category. The bottom line, however, is always mediocrity. Ellen was hired to show people how normal lesbians are. As such, her comedy should be as mild as a family cartoon strip. Why did she suddenly need to joke about Hitler? Why did she think she needed to be edgy with my humour when she was a daytime TV host? Here's another one who was better off as a bore and never realized it.

They read my comedy scripts and it drove them insane. My material was funnier than theirs. They thought they were supposed to be hilarious when people were watching them for other reasons. Jay must have thought he was taking over for Groucho Marx instead of Carson. And Ellen thought she looked like a rebel when she had far more the appeal of a gym teacher or something like that. If the egos of TV hosts like this were as mediocre as their talent, perhaps they would have left my work alone.

Just being a parent doesn't impress me. I have a relative who is a father and was caught and punished for stealing my blogs. Respectable anchorpersons went to prison for their crimes against a bachelor. And now they're such babies that they can't admit it and want to lie about it instead. 		  
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© 2018. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

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