The Netherwork: Pure Mishap

The Netherwork: Pure Mishap
Since I heard the name 'Stuie' as a possible putdown from a passerby today, I'm going to repeat that Seth MacFarlane got punched out in prison. Now let's go after his supporters. I don't know if he took this one.

(A network boardroom. A meeting has just concluded when one of the executives is delayed by the chairman.)

Chairman: I hear you have an exotic new post production coordinator.

Executive: Yes, from Haiti.

Chairman: We'll be having a little informal gathering in the rotunda later. Could you ask her join us?

Executive: Certainly. Can I come?

Chairman: No.

(The rotunda. From a torchlit alter, standing before a boiling cauldron, a colourfully costumed priestess addresses a congregation of robed and hooded executives and staff.)

Priestess: With the power of the buh-joo, all can be yours. The spirit fathers know of the one who resists you. (With her arms outstretched to the ceiling, she says a few mysterious words in African. Behind her, men mark her words by rattling harp-like bamboo constructions with small seashells on the strings.)

Chairman: Where are the orange juice models?

Executive: Right there, sir. (With a primitive drumbeat supporting them, four healthy looking vestal virgins, in flowing veils, dance lightly around a totem. From there, they break off and gracefully spin into position, one at a time, to form a line beside the priestess.)

Priestess: Immaculate ones, by the power of the buh-joo, take possession of the organ which would corrupt you. (She speaks more magic words and hands each virgin a carrot. They proceed to fondle the vegetables, staying in time to the drums, looking very sexy. When the drums stop, they look at each other and bite into their carrots in unison. At the sound of the crunch, the men all shriek and fall to the the floor in pain.) Okay, who's lying about being a virgin?
  
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© 2007, 2018. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

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