Madonna Went to Prison

Definitely Defined Below this line are       rows. ROW ROW ROW ROW ROW 12:50pm: My total number of comedy scripts online at this time is:  . This sum was reached by adding 90 for AB-BI, 91 for BL-CO, 73 for CO-DO, 77 for DO-EN, 54 for EP-FR, 74 for FR-HO, 65 for HO-JO, 76 for JO-MI, 103 for MI-OH, 66 for OL-PO, 65 for PO-SE, 79 for SE-TA, 84 for TA-UP, and 65 for US-ZO. I've used up my time limit for the computer, but I'm ready for a break. After spending all day yesterday adding my rows at home, I suddenly thought a bit longer about that program I showed you yesterday. I forgot about my computer and how she knows me and understands me. We've been together for so long and made so much music together and had so many laughs. She just automatically knows what I'm talking about with object references. I don't have to go by the book with her. But other computers who don't know me are st...

Logically Outnumbered 2:32pm: 2:26pm: I seem to be having trouble on YouTube, uploading my new video, to show you my suspicion about how my program works so well at home, off the internet. I wonder why it's rejecting my post. I'll try again. I've not been getting all wrapped up in the musical melee that those store mannequins care so much about. I have deeper problems on my mind, which are totally beyond their tiny comprehensions. I'm like the King of the Moon with his head blissfully levitating loose in the Adventures of Baron Munchausen. I easily got my JavaScript to count my rows of my indexes at home, but the very same program doesn't work on the library computers or on Blogger. I wonder if it's because of some crippling corporate telus crime or something. The logic of my program is simple and elegant. I tag my rows with an 'id' and reference them with the 'length' property, as below. function countRows(){ b=ro...

Down for the Count Yeah, well, I'm getting kind of bored with this repeating pattern of me taking songs back from the radio and getting falsely accused of dirty things after, with only myself to say I'm innocent. So I'm obviously outnumbered by a large number of nasty pricks. Just because they all hang around each other doesn't make them the majority. That last song I rewrote had me laughing, though. Wasn't Slings and Arrows what the radio played to you early last year, as if to say, 'forget that metal shit that he's doing and come listen to this'? They wanted their listeners to escape my music with my music and trick them into thinking it was Blue Rodeo. And Blue Rodeo was scheduled for a big concert at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre here in Vancouver in January 2017. Two sold out shows. I tried to tell everyone that Blue Rodeo stole my music too, but everyone just wanted to listen to my music and forget about me. Their radio love...

See the Bum Click the arrow in the upper left corner to access the sidebar, and click on 'Archives' to see the struggle I've been reporting here for the last few weeks. (To see my work history, visit: A Canadian Artist's Professional Background . You may cross reference it with government records. I refer openly to police and the prime minister in this post.) Hey, everyone, look, it's the bum! It's the bum who has no money when he writes hit songs! Let's go pay a band to steal his new hit! Look, he's still alive! Let's trick someone in his family to break into his room and cut his throat in the middle of the night! He's a bum because he has no money! Right, Revenue Canada? Right, Prime Minister Trudeau? Right, Pirate Broadcasters? Have you local pirates ever heard about Port Royale? It was the wealthiest city in the Western world, founded on piracy profits. It was a coastal city, just like Vancouver. And when a tsunami...

Who's on FilthTube? Click the arrow in the upper left corner to access the sidebar, and click on 'Archives' to see the struggle I've been reporting here for the last few weeks. I wish YouthTube had chosen a more accurate name, like FilthTube, before I learned about them. Too late now. So many songs defiled by their members in the last eleven years. Nothing left to do but rewrite them and drop dead from the effort. Who wrote Redemption everyone? Me, right? Do I get to say I wrote it now that Blue Rodeo's done with it? Or do I have to wait behind the first person who steals it when I put it back in my account? Did I forget to include it with the other three songs I said they stole in my Copyright Issues list? Oh, fuck, well, I better get it in there right away for you. No wonder I couldn't remember 2007. Every moment of it was a nightmare. Like posting Redemption and finding it on sunset videos and eclipse videos of YouTube members. My ...

More Is Less Click the arrow in the upper left corner to access the sidebar, and click on 'Archives' to see the struggle I've been reporting here for the last few weeks. If anyone with the power to deal with this is reading, police, lawyers, the Chairman of the People's Republic of China, Her Majesty, anyone, I hope you will help me out. If Her Majesty is reading, she must know that I twice pledged allegiance to her for my old government contracts in Toronto with the feds and the provs. As such, I am prohibited from writing punk rock. I can listen to it, but that's all. That's the agreement. And in return, she must arrest Blue Rodeo if they try to play my songs in her theatre. I won't break my oath. I don't know how often her CBC staff have consciously desecrated hers and her ancestor's name with fraud performances at all the Queen Elizabeth Theatre's around the world, however. I'm pretty sure they broke theirs. Police...

The Netherwork: Episode XVI: A Blazing Grace Click the arrow in the upper left corner to access the sidebar, and click on 'Archives' to see other comedy scripts I've been sharing here in the last few months.    Comedy Sketches Cartoons Arguments Copyright Issues Lyrics Poems More Scripts Statements Songs &#169 2007, 2018. Words and images by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Pitiful Excuse Click the arrow in the upper left corner to access the sidebar, and click on 'Archives' to see the struggle I've been reporting here for the last few weeks. I'm back in the library after a rough night cartooning. Oh, yes, and somehow being assaulted. It was around 10:00 pm that the 'party' started. I think it was one of those sadist parties, maybe by someone who was just released from incarceration and wanted to celebrate. Anyway, thanks to people like this, I've had more putdowns than anything else this last week. I thought I would do better if I released a good song ( Simper ) but I guess you must hate it. I wanted to save it from public view, but I felt helpless about this assault that seems to come from my music and needed to see what would happen if I shared a new song. Someone said I made them hate her. Who, Madonna? I don't hate Madonna. I used her name above to show my readers the kind of significant events...

Out with the Old I thought there might have been a theft of an 11-year-old song I wrote about Jim Cuddy's abuse called It Makes Me Wonder (I left the music out this time to help their deceived fans read my words better.) But I just checked on YouTube and the only It Makes Me Wonder was Maroon 5's. I laughed out loud, here in the library. If I'd have done that in January 2017, it would have been Blue Rodeo well on top of that search. And I didn't have to write it a second time because I wrote it twice when I first shared it. It has two different sets of lyrics. The second is meant to supplant the first. While I did a good job of putting together that set of daytime cafe rock back in '07, which I thought complimented my poetry at the time, and which was largely stolen by Blue Rodeo, I really want to stay in the present with new songs like Simper . Outside of music, I have other callings, such as drawing cartoons. I may be close to producing a n...

No Budget for Truth (Don't forget to check my YouTube account for tampering today - if you have time. I can't go online and see if anyone is assaulting my image with damaging comments or video responses. It's up to you, I'm afraid.) 1:26 pm: How's your brain? Most of us don't care about our brains that much, just take them for granted, but I'm more sensitive to the topic because my brain has been assaulted so much. I think I may have some insights about how your brain has also been assaulted. I wish to share them with you as a fellow victim and please don't find it condescending. I think rich broadcasters have little respect for our brains. They think we're just supposed to be smart enough to drive a car and listen to their propaganda on the radio. So that leaves millions and millions of our brain cells open for their abuse. I call it 'abuse' because its effect is destructive, rather than merely manipulative. For in...

Ulcer Time (Don't forget to check my YouTube account for tampering today - if you have time. I can't go online and see if anyone is assaulting my image with damaging video responses. It's up to you, I'm afraid.) About getting called a thief last night and today, I think you're probably listening to another violator of my music copyright out there. Why don't you flag the music and send over the police to resolve it? Or is a distant, transparent frame job all that is needed to get those songs of mine back on the radio station before I'm finished here? They never would have left if that station didn't have such a preference for lying psychopaths over talented artists and poets. No blood yet this morning. I've had this problem before. I think I'm feeling better. Wait minute, why did this idol tell you I was bleeding? Oh, oh, I feel it getting worse again. I think it's an ulcer or something. I'll have to be more carefu...

For Music Fans (Don't forget to check my YouTube account for tampering today - if you have time. I can't go online and see if anyone is assaulting my image with a video response. It's up to you, I'm afraid.) 4:34pm: I keep forgetting to tell you about my internal bleeding problem. It's become quite noticeable in the last week or so, but there is no pain. I know it paints a yucky picture, but you must be used to associating such imagery with me by now, with these bands who steal my songs presenting it to the world as my portrait. I just tonight realized how stressful it is to hear an unwelcome remark. I tensed right up and had to take a deep breath and try to distance myself from it. Each time it happens, it makes that hole inside me a little wider for them. And if you think that's stressful, you should know what it feels like to have a program like Dateline lying about you to protect their crooked network's crooked stars. Knocked me ri...

Attention Police 5:27pm: (Typed after the following.) Everyone, I wanted the police to be alerted to a serious crime with my music that has caused me considerable discomfort over the last few days. I never wanted to know some psychopath who thinks he's me when he plays my music. I never wanted to see him or his ex-wife kneeling on the sidewalk in front of my building. I didn't want to know that he lied and told everyone it said 'maybe you're gay' on my dick. I didn't want to know that this was replied to with the words 'maybe you'll pay' on his dick. And now I don't want to know that he has a scar on his dick. [July 8, 2018: And I didn't want to know that the scar recently had to be signed over.] But I do want to know if this makes me vulnerable to him somehow. If so, I think you should put the words back where he can read them. And I think you should invite his followers to watch. First of all, let me apologize to my s...