Yuk Yuk Yuk

Yuk Yuk Yuk
12:13pm. I've opened a new blog now. I hope you all believe me when I tell you that Madonna went to prison. And if you have any mysterious migraines or nervous disorders or frequent nausea, it might be time to stop trusting your TV and radio so much when they lie to you about all these dirty stars.

11:34am. Oh, yes, and about being DISHONOURED by these impersonators, it has really fucked up my relationship with my nephew, I think. He's the one who asked why I went to Ottawa in such a suspicious way. The DISHONOUR of their endless lies and impersonations has left me in very cruel isolation after eleven merciless years, besides turning my image to shit in front of the world to help their crime. Eh, police? Most nephews would be proud to have an uncle who wrote so many hit songs and comedy sketches, but thanks to the DISHONOUR brought onto me by the crimes that the broadcasters want everyone to think are amusing, he appears to be ashamed of me instead. And when you Christians DISHONOUR an innocent author like myself, I bet you think God forgives you.

Oh, and I'll have to show those cops my drawing pad of cartoons and my book of handwritten poems. The videos I made of me turning their pages and talking about them have been used to IMPERSONATE ME EVERY DAY since I posted them to support my claims. I'm sure I can supply you with an example of their fraud with these videos just by linking to them from this page right now, but I have already have footage of those videos being compromised, along with my other 296 videos on YouTube, and I have other things to do right now.

10:18am. In my second recording of crimes against my account yesterday, at the Strathcona drop-in branch, I was approached by a supervisor named 'Stewart' who, I think, lied to me about his name. He said I wasn't allowed to take any pictures outside of my computer screen because the other patrons didn't want their faces on camera. Gee, I wonder why they're so nervous about that! Well, I was done for the day anyway, but I resented being scolded for simply defending my honour on the internet. I called the police last night and invited them over to discuss the 11-year-long crime with my web posts. They still haven't come, but I imagine they have a lot to do in this crime ridden city of ours.

I was thinking we might talk about honour and about how the crime of impersonating me has brought so much DISHONOUR to an innocent victim. For starters, I'll have to show them my driver's licence to explain that I have never been arrested or incarcerated in my whole 52-year-long life. But how many times since I stepped on the landmine of YouTube have I been falsely accused of being in jail when I was free? How many thousand times? How many million times? Such false accusations DISHONOUR me. And as I sit here with two views showing on my page after my life story was on the national news and most of my account was on the TV and radio, have you considered how far fewer views these impersonating assholes might really be getting than I am? Didn't one of them say he needed to steal my page views because his were slow? These are the kind of psychopaths that broadcasters love.

I don't have children to feed, I just have my honour to defend, and I will defend it to the death. It's essentially the only valuable thing I possess. I would gladly fight to the death to protect my honour, which is why my assassins always hit me in the back, like at 9:30am and 9:40am this morning, when my account was under assault by the same person who assaulted it yesterday. And when I draw attention to their assault, they don't stand and fight me; they scurry away like cockroaches in the light. And what's the idea of letting the same offender attack the same victim every day for the last two months? Are they trying to make her look more innocent than I am? Sorry, but I have an 11-year head start on my enemies not being able to incarcerate me in accord with their filthy broadcast lies. And I will see her pay for her crimes against me.

How do you like these stars who tell you stories about my dick and say I'm a fucking diddler? Do you think they're good role models the way the media does? Can you get much more dishonoured than that? Have you noticed that these assholes always attack my back? They can't face me with their lying crime. What would you want to do to someone if you found out they told stories like that about you? These impersonating assholes spread this poisonous shit every time they go on the internet.

How's my real resume? Who's got it today? So, just because I'm funny when I describe my background, does that mean my real life should all get turned into fraud for treacherous industry pets on the comedy stage? That thing tells people how I spent twenty years of my life in the work force. Are we going to discount it and call me a bum just because I have good a sense of humour?

Impersonation is such a dirty crime. Has anyone gone through all those videos that impersonate my library visits of eleven years ago? There's that one of me with the 'navy head', talking at night. That would be a good target for an evil impersonator. But those words I'm saying in that come from my heart and my head, not from my god damned appearance. And I want the impersonating assholes who impersonated my library visits ERASED FROM THE INTERNET. And I want the impersonating asshole who impersonating me busting Rosie O'Donnell ERASED FROM THE INTERNET. I want all videos that IMPERSONATE MY CONTENT OR MY LIFE ERASED FROM THE INTERNET.

I'm funny in my statements sometimes. I want any stand-up comedians who've been plundering my statements for clever material that is beyond their ability to produce on their own ERASED FROM THE INTERNET. And if you don't want to flag these fiends after all the harm they've caused me, even as the stupidest ones move in to try to intercept all the pity that's owed to me now, then I will bring my headphones to the library and report them, myself. I have nothing to live for now but my honour. And if I have to spend the rest of my life in this library to defend my honour against evil impersonators who receive so much support from the dishonourable media, I would think it better spent than standing on a stage to work for such a corrupt industry as the one that wants you to all go YUK! YUK! YUK! when George Carlin steals my STATEMENT about how RACIST our bombing campaigns are towards 'brown people' YUK YUK YUK YUK YUK YUK. That's what happens when the entertainment industry wants to DISHONOUR talent.

And lastly, if this corrupt, Telus owned region can't at least be nice to me after all this time, I'll have to go and live somewhere else. Hopefully I'll find a place where an innocent author can keep his honour. 		  
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© 2018. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

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