The Netherwork: Deception Span

The Netherwork: Deception Span
(A clinic. A test subject peers into a visor connected by cables to a wall with a small window. On the other side of the wall, visible through the window, a man and a woman, in white lab coats, operate controls and discuss options.)

Man: We need this hardware ready for the next news broadcast. Take it to half. (The woman slides a bar, causing a blinking surge of power.) Okay. Try it now.

Woman: (Holding a red ball up to the window and speaking into a microphone) The ball is blue. What colour is the ball?

Intercom: (Subject's voice) Blue? It looks red. (The woman gives her colleague an impatient look.)

Man: All right, you can raise it to three quarters. (She eagerly slides the power bar higher.)

Woman: (Holding up red ball) The ball is blue. What colour is the ball?

Intercom: (Subject's voice) Uh... purple?

Man: He's getting closer. All right, try it at full. Let's keep our fingers crossed. (She pushes the bar all the way up, accelerating the blinking and introducing a loud hum.)

Woman: (Holding up red ball) The ball is blue. What colour is the ball?

Intercom: (Subject's voice) I - I don't know.

Woman: What do you mean?

Intercom: (Subject's voice) I mean, I'm blind! I'm blind! Oh, dear God! (He continues yelling in terror.)

Man: (Through the noisy fit) Now we're getting somewhere.
  
More Scripts Statements Songs
© 2007, 2018. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Don't Shoot Me

Don't Shoot Me Another one I pulled off that documentary. Classic hyperbole. Probably repeating the same stages of development, if you're saving it over intervals. Looks like the boring blogger was the life of their party - again. Please erase all outside posts that show too many similarities with my posts and enforce my copyright protection. It was terrible. They gathered us into a barn and lined us up to be shot. I was at the back, and when it got to be my turn, I said, 'Don't shoot me.' And he said, 'Why not?' And I said, 'Because I asked you not to.' And he shot me! Shot me in the hair. And I went down and played dead. But he came over and poked me in the abdomen with his rifle and made me twitch. And my eyes opened and there he was. I just looked up at him helplessly and said, 'Don't shoot me.' And he shot me again! Shot me in the appendix. I lay there for a minute until he was satisfied he'd killed me, and
Read more

The Netherwork: Flush with Enthusiasm

The Netherwork: Flush with Enthusiasm Their true evil must be a lot less funny to people now that everyone knows who wrote these scripts about them. I don't mind re-experiencing the laughs that first gave rise to these works, but consumers of my comedy would have had a lot more laughs by now if I didn't have to spend so much time recovering it. (In a rustic cottage, a network executive concludes an intimate interview with a journalist.) Journalist: I know that you broadcasters have been accused of being a bunch of elitist snobs, but now that you've invited me here and let me watch you split your own wood for the fireplace, I can see that those accusations were way out of line. Executive: Well, I hope that your readers will soon share your revelation. Journalist: Don't worry, they will. Mind if I use the bathroom before I go? Executive: No, not at all. (Pointing) It's down the hall, first door on your left. Journalist: Thank you. (He
Read more

Girl Logic

Girl Logic (A tea room. A matronly woman sits with a ten-year-old girl.) Instructor: Hello, girls! I hope you're ready for another lesson in Girl Logic . I'm Gail, your instructor, and this is my niece, Jennifer. (Applause.) Thank you for sending us some more examples of your beautiful handwriting, proving the superiority of your language centers . See here how elaborately Jennifer made her 'J'? (She holds up what might pass for a page from the manuscript of the King James Bible. Applause.) Keep up the good work, ladies. One day you may be called upon to write a menu on a chalkboard. Recent studies have shown that you possess an innate gift for shorthand, as well, with prefabricated contractions all ready to go in your brains. Some of you can string as many as twenty-five syllables along one distinctive hump. However, before you write things down, it's important to check your spelling. Do you girls know how to activate your subtitles? You
Read more